Your Home, Your Car, Your Deal

House and Car

Having your environment under control can make a huge difference in your outlook. Using delivery services is a great way to get those items that you need on a regular basis without having to face the world, or worse, packing up the kids to run errands.

And also, give yourself permission and time to de-Louse the house...a fresh coat of paint, some newly framed prints that you have always loved can make a real difference - even in a tiny room. Take a look around, and try to get rid of the things that bring back memories of Lousy...you have to make room for new, bright memories and happy times that will surely be coming your way. But in the meantime, try to make your space your own and let it reflect who you are...you don't have to compromise on decorating anymore!

Take advantage of all the websites that help you to keep your house running. Ellen's first choice was diaper delivery, then she moved on to grocery delivery, drugstore delivery... everything you need is available online these days.

Your neighbors, friends and family probably want to help, but don’t know how. Now is the time to ask for specifics: “Can you grab a gallon of milk next time you go to the store?”, “Can you watch the children while I am on the phone with my attorney?”

If Lousy was in charge of certain things around the house - you're either going to have to learn to do it yourself, or hire someone. Many women rely on their spouses for things such as auto maintenance, lawncare, cleaning the gutters, etc. For the basics, you can learn to take care of things yourself... take advantage of the May-I-Help-You guys at your local Home Depot or Lowe's.

Many men rely on a woman to care for their laundry, housekeeping or cooking. A cooking class is a good way to get yourself out of the house, meet new people, and learn some valuable and impressive new tricks. If you just can't deal with the laundry, there are many dry-cleaners and laundromats that offer wash-dry and fold services. You will usually pay by the pound, so let your sweaty gym clothes and wet towels dry before you haul it in. If you need a housekeeper, ask your neighbors for a recommendation, not the guy at work who lives on the other side of town.

There are services in every city, and now you will need them. You should always ask for and check for references before engaging any service provider. The best way to find these providers is asking your neighbors and friends as a starting point. The local paper will often have service providers in the classifieds, so ask them for references before you give them your home address. Do not call people who post cardboard signs on telephone poles along the road!

A great service that we like is Angie's List. They have expanded and now offer reviews on all types of service including hair dressers and party planners as well as the plumbers and the painters. There is a small fee to join, but it is worth it to be able to trust someone that wants to be paid!

Don't forget to follow up with the other services such as the exterminators. There are other things that you may not think of like the furnace filters, chemicals for the swimming pool, etc. If you are to be master of your domain, then find out what keeps it running.

Don't forget to check on the car....Ellen had never had her own car before (she lived in New York City before linking with Lousy) and realized that she had an expired sticker when a policeman pulled her over for it. The whole "My husband left me with my two kids and he always took care of it blah blah blah" might work - so try throwing it out there to avoid the ticket (they are expensive!!) And remember to get your oil, tires, fluids checked on the car. And keep the stickers, inspections, plates, insurance and paperwork up to date....And keep your car looking good...get it washed. Just because your world has crumbled, does not mean it should look like Armageddon.  

Find a good yard person to help mow the lawn and help with weeding, pruning and reseeding if you have a yard that needs dealing with. Many of those providers are hurting for business right now, so they might be more affordable than you think. Or go on out and get a lawnmower yourself if you can handle it and have time to deal with it. Plant some flowers in the spring if you can. It feels good to tend to nature and concentrate on a small task during these rocky times. It is too late now, but planting bulbs in the fall yield wonderful and hopeful reminders of spring and renewal in the sunnier months ahead. 

For those of us in snowy regions, make sure you have a good shovel, some rock salt, and a scraper for your windshield. Last winter, Ellen was iced out of her car because of winter weather. The scraper was stuck inside the car! So try and be prepared and organized.

Men Can Do It Too

Many guys had to lose their bachelor persona when they got hitched. In comes the woman, out goes the neon signs, the old leather recliner, the garage sale lamp... No, it's not time to bring them back. Often, the ex will reclaim everything she brought to the marital home, and leave you with basically... your laundry basket and you collection of beer steins.

You can focus on what you want, and the man you want to be. Hated the flowers? go stripes. If you have the funds to refurnish and/or redecorate, do it right. Don't go overboard, and don't discount this important detail in re-establishing your new single identity. An abode that is too masculine will tell your future dates "no interest in a serious relationship", whereas no effort will convey "too lazy to make an effort".

This can be a great project to focus on when getting over a break up. You should be comfortable in your own space, and you should keep in mind who else you will be accomodating. You may have the kids only on the weekends, but make sure they have a place of their own. Allow them to help decorate their rooms if they're old enough, it's a great project to work on together.

Don't go for quantity over quality. If you're old enough to be divorced, then you're old enough to have real furniture. Ikea is a short term solution... a great solution, but not the end of the project.

Again, the online resources are there. Don't be too quick to buy the first thing that catches your eye. Set a budget, measure your space, print out your favorite online finds and go from there. Also remember not to overdo it... save shopping for a special piece for a great low-key second or third date after you've been single for a while! Most women love to shop, so don't be afraid to ask when the time is right.

Shop smart and check out the great deals we offer on our Special Offers and Promotions page.