Work

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which                          has opened for us.”              —Alexander Graham Bell

Divorce typically causes a drastic change in finances. If you have a job, do not let your personal life interfere. If you do not have a job, then there is work to do.

Office TIP: 

Keep bottles of eye drops in the car, your purse, your gym bag, your desk drawer... you get it. Even if you can hold yourself together in the office, a meltdown when you are alone can leave you a mess! Also keep the tissues, or at least some paper napkins within reach.

At The Office

For the working, make sure that you keep up your appearance as a professional at work. Try not to bring your personal drama into the workplace. It is disruptive and distracting to yourself and others. Frankly, by throwing yourself into work, your poor mind can finally take a break from your lousy situation. Try to be punctual and make sure you look nice and presentable. If you are too upset or overwhelmed, then take a sick day. Do not let your coworkers see you unraveled. You need this job, especially in this economy. Stay the course.

Another warning here: it has been noted that a divorcing coworker can be contagious to officemates. Do not go viral. As we said, keep your personal life to yourself. We don't suggest that you cannot confide your situation to those you are closest to, but keep it close to the vest. Being the guy who wants to hit happy hour three days a week all of a sudden may make your life feel new, but you can be a very bad influence on those who are happily married. And really? happy hour? Hit the gym instead.

Returning to or Entering the Work Force

If you are not working, then time to update and circulate your resume. There are scores of resources to get advice on writing a resume, changing careers, and finding a job. We like monster.com and careerbuilder.com. Check the websites of your local municipalities for government jobs.

Mention that you are looking for a job to friends and acquaintances, especially those with acquaintances in your field. This is the best way to find a job these days - through a personal connection. You never quite know where opportunity is lurking. Be confident, be creative. Work will make you feel better and that have more control. Trust us, work heals you.

When writing your resume be sure to include all of your education, jobs, and professional experience, even volunteering. Have someone else help you proof it to be sure that you have not made any typos. State everything in a positive voice, emphazise your responsibilities and talents. Do check with your attorney first, because a change in your personal income could affect your settlement. In any event, it does not hurt to get the job-search ball rolling. 

Updating Skills

These days it's very easy to slip to the backside of marketable. With technology changing so fast, the world is changing with it, and it's not easy to keep up. If you need to update your skills, be smart about it. Focus on job skills that will build on your previous experience or education. Some professional training can be accomplished online and that may be perfectly acceptable in some fields, but not all of them. If you have the opportunity to talk to people in the field you want to enter, make sure you discuss not only the pay rates and hours, but also the kind of education that they recommend.

Be smart about the whole life change of returning to school, or adding schoolwork to your already busy schedule. Youe research should include not only the schools that want your money, but into the field you want to enter... are there any jobs out there waiting for you? These days there don't seem to be jobs anywhere, but there will be and you can take this time to prepare for them. Financial aid is available in many forms and from countless sources. Many employers will pay for or subsidize your tuition to upgrade the skills that will enhance your value to that employer.

Being Organized

Going back to work, adding another part time job, or becoming both parents for your kids requires a whole new level of organization. Some of us feel overwhelmed with our schedules already, especially those of us with kids. Now you are adding new levels of complexity to your days - new people and places with deadlines, assignments and meetings. Do not start a new job without some form of time management. period.

Some people like the Blackberry, some use a Day Planner, I like the Franklin Covey planner system. Any new system requires a little more thought and you must learn how to use whatever system you choose.  That means studying the system and understanding how to make the most of it. Once you understand it - then use it consistently!! You cannot be too prepared and if you are going to be effective in all aspects of your life you must stay on top of the details.

Dress for Success

Particularly women need to assess the wardrobe. Get a stylish and honest friend to come over and help you try on and get rid of clothes that do not look good on you. If you do not have anything to wear for a job interview, then get thee to Ann Taylor or Brooks Brothers to find a new outfit. In the past, it was difficult for petites and the plus-sized set to find professional, well-made clothes. The internet is an all night shopping mall with a search engine as a personal shopper. Use it, it will make your life easier.

If budget is tight, most are these days, keep your eyes out for sales, promotions and discounts. They are out there. You do not have to spend a lot to look like a million bucks. Looking good is critical for the interviews - it will boost your confidence. To save on internet orders, always check for online promotion codes and discounts - we like coupon heaven and coupon cabin. Just enter the names of your favorite stores and see what's available.

When purging the closet be sure to recycle - locate a consignment shop for designer and higher end pieces. For those that aren't worth selling but still have some life take them to your local charity shop like Goodwill - and get the tax deduction form!

Please Note: The information provided herein is a guide only. Our readers and members should seek professional help from counselors, financial experts and attorneys as needed. Stories contained herein have been altered to secure the privacy of others.