"Pain is weakness leaving the body...."
A restorative walk around the block will bring fresh air and a fresh perspective. Go swimming, biking or running if you prefer. If you can afford it, join a local gym. For women who have not exercised regularly Curves is an excellent place to start. Larger national facilities like Gold’s Gym offer a range of programs for those of all ages and fitness. Try a new class: Pilates, yoga, karate, kick boxing (pretend you are giving your LousySpouse a right hook!).
A site we like for busy women is Squeeze It In. There are also a zillion DVD's available with workouts ranging from simple stretching to hard-core body-fry. Also check your cable channels, some have on demand workouts available with a click of the clicker. Got 20 minutes to spare? Tone that tummy with a twenty minute ab blast! But start slowly (but not too slowly!) - you may have been in great shape when you met Lousy, but the toll of living with a lousy spouse can include the breakdown of that physique.
A healthy body is strong and has the strength to endure and prevail. Even if you do not feel strong, perhaps you can trick yourself into becoming that way. A sense of control, accomplishment and confidence will follow, leading you on a path away from Lousy!
Manicures, facials, massage, a new haircut are in order if finances permit. Call your favorite spa or salon, and find out if there are any special discounts. We like to save when spoiling ourselves by getting facials and massages from students at the local massage and beauty schools.
Massages are a great way to relax and release all that stress you hold in your neck or back. Some people are uncomfortable being touched by a stranger, but it can't be as uncomfortable as the knots and kinks you are carrying around. Many large shopping malls offer chair massages next to the sunglass and perfume carts. Massage is becoming more an more available at spas, gyms and salons. Get a recommendation from a friend if you are new to this. As we mentioned, a massage school is a good place to get a good long massage for about half the cost of a spa. Not all masseuses are built equal, so try a few, build a relationship with someone who can recognize your needs and take care of you. Don't forget a tip!
Join a new gym or workout facility, especially if your ex or her beau are members at your current one. Try one of the new interval sports training gyms that are popping up. Getting stronger physically will increase your mental alertness, and you will begin to look better and feel good about yourself.
There's nothing wrong with getting a facial and a manicure yourself, and Botox is not just for ladies anymore! Many men are now opting for body waxing... it'll hurt like the dickens, but it'll make you feel different, and different is good when you've been through the wringer.
A new look can mean a new haircut (or not) or growing that facial hair that was vetoed so long ago. Try a new pair of glasses or getting contacts. We aren't suggesting a disguise, but a new look that will be the foundation of a fresh start.
If your Lousy always shopped for you, then go out and get a couple of new shirts. Toss out the ones that remind you of her, replace painful memories with a new outlook. If you don't have time to get to the mall, then shop like a woman... anywhere you can! The internet is a shopping mall open all night.
We weren't sure where this section belongs... because there are so many benefits to getting away from your environment. We don't suggesting running away, but if you can afford it, stepping back may give you the perspective you need. A change in your daily routine is hard if nothing else is changed, except that Lousy is making you miserable. A short or long getaway can break your routine and help you start new ones, like a morning walk before breakfast or after supper.
There is a wide range of opportunities available for you alone, or you and the kids. Start a new family tradition with the kids. Find destinations that offer a wide range of age-appropriate activities, entertainment and accomodations. Also look for places that attract families so that there are plenty of other kids to play with, or hang out with. Sometimes you can find single parent events which may offer social opportunities for you as well!
Do your research, or go straight to a travel agent, again, if budget allows. A 10-day cruise, a tour of Florence, Italy, or just a weekend at a mountain cabin or a beachside condo - whatever you can do for yourself, do it!
Please Note: The information provided herein is a guide only. Our readers and members should seek professional help from counselors, financial experts and attorneys as needed. Stories contained herein have been altered to secure the privacy of others.