Finding a Lawyer that's Right for You

Yes, we need lawyers. A local divorce attorney can help you understand your local divorce laws and procedures, determine custody arrangements, and child support laws and how they will affect your case.  Click here to visit a great advertiser and fill out their form to arrange a divorce case evaluation.

Most of us have never had need of a lawyer outside of closing a real estate deal or handling a traffic violation. The advice we have is ask around. Advertisements in the yellow pages or on bus shelters may give someone name recognition, but it doesn't make them a better lawyer. You need to find someone who will treat you with respect, and who has managed cases similar to yours. Every divorce is different, so you are in a position of having to interview candidates.

Most lawyers will require you to pay for a 'consultation'. In our estimation, this is their bread and butter money. You may spend 30 to 60 minutes outlining your case and answering their questions, only for this lawyer to tell you that they'll need a $4,500 retainer, or that your spouse doesn't really have much to go after (code for: I'm not really interested). Then they expect a $300 fee. You don't need a consult, you need to employ a lawyer.

Ask your divorced friends who they used, and ask them about their experiences with their lawyers. If they feel good that their lawyer did not waste time or money and respected them, then that is a lawyer for you. If they respect and recommend their lawyer, that is the best sign of all.

Not all are created equal. Some will say you get what you pay for, and others will tell you they're all the same, so shop around for the lowest hourly rate. So what do you look for?... pretty much the same thing you look for in a therapist. Someone who respects you and your needs, who is going to do their best not to waste your time or your money, and someone who gives you their full attention when it's "your time".

Red Flags that your Lawyer is Lousy:

• is more impressed with Lousy's lawyer than interested in protecting you
  
• not responsive to your e-mails or phone calls
• takes other calls when you are in their office
  
• tells you to "get over it"
• asks you to take a "family loan" to pay their staggering bills
• doesn't offer any advice unless you ask about that subject specifically

If you get a weird feeling about them, trust your instincts. Many divorce attorneys are buddies with the opposing attorney, and there is a fair amount of horse trading that goes on behind the scenes. Don't trust them too readily, it takes a special breed to be a divorce attorney.

You deserve to be treated respectfully, professionally, and courteously. Hey lawyers, do you hear us? We'll repeat it for you one more time: respectfully, professionally, and courteously!

Lawyers are not usually your friends, they are simply trying to move your case off their desk. They only eat what they kill, meaning the quicker they complete your case, the quicker they can bill you. Even "the best" lawyers are limited by what the laws allow and provide for. In many cases, it seems that regardless of the degree of lousy-ness, everyone seems to finish at the same place.

A tricky aspect of getting a divorce is that every state has different rules and standards. It does not make sense to us that it is not standardized. You can get advice from friends, but unless they live nearby, you may not get the info you need. These facts make hiring a lawyer a necessary evil. Sorry, lawyers.

In your turmoil and confusion the lawyers may be scaring you, intimidating you and still billing you. Even if your lawyer seems to be your friend and listens with a sympathetic ear, just wait until you see the bill. Be careful how you use a lawyer's time - do not use them as a high priced, and ineffective, therapist.

Ellen's divorce cost about $40,000 and she got none of her attorney fees reimbursed, and her Lousy Spouse went almost a year without paying child support or alimony. So, please learn from her expensive disaster...ooops, we mean divorce.

TAKE NOTE: A big key to these costly agreements is enforceability. Make sure that the provisions that you provide for have some sort of means to enforce lousy in his obligations. In Ellen's case, there is really nothing that is enforceable. Her lousy does whatever he wants, does not comply, and violates the terms of the PSA and there are no consequences. She could go back to court, with a lawyer and start filing stuff which she will have to do. But that is not how Lousy Spouse Survivors like to use their valuable time. We think that lousys can go to jail for not paying child support. But for all the other little aspects of your agreement, make sure there is some way to get it enforced....And do let us know when you figure it out!!

Cautionary tale: A good friend is on her third lawyer now. When she employed the first lawyer, she was in shock. It was several months after she flipped the rock to see where Lousy's soul had been residing, but Lousy still had the upper hand, and she did not listed to her lawyer. That was a huge poop load of  money down the toilet. When the second lawyer was called in he was more interested in impressing Lousy's lawyer and had no intention of protecting my friend. He was useless. Now after being divorced for more than 2 years, she now has the Shark. The lawyer she should have hired in the first place, but did not because this lawyer is expensive. Expensive is what she needs because of the Shark's well-earned reputation. She's all over it, getting Lousy to do as he's supposed to, and she's not letting him manipulate anyone, or get away with anything. She's got some great strategies to take control of this divorce and I cannot wait to tell you what's going to happen!! It's going to be AWESOME!

Final Note: The information provided herein is a guide only. Our readers and members should seek professional help from counselors, financial experts and attorneys as needed.