Hey everyone,

I need an attorney, real bad...I am in Falls Church, NoVa area.....any recommendations for me????

Please tell me what you like do not like, as I have NO idea what I am doing. I have 3 kids, and married for 15 years, so I need someone that can handle it. I am very upset by my situation, and my lousy is not cooperative AT ALL!

So I need someone that can help, work with me, and be honest. And oh yeah, not run up the bill all crazy - like $40K - that is ridiculous!!

Jenn

Kyle Bartol at Cottrell Fletcher..... has done an excellent job for me - listens, responsive, makes sound recommendations and treats my case as if its important.

I also interviewed and liked Debbie Bray in Alexandria.

Thoughts on keeping your legal fees down:

Unless your need is urgent, compile your questions for one phone call or email. Do not ask your attorney unless you cannot get the information/assistance anywhere else. Multiple contacts drive up your bills.

Most people reach a settlement when one party feels guilty about the divorce or after one of you is too tired (or broke) to continue fighting.

Anyone have tips for divorce in NoVa arae? I am interested in learning about the process, laws etc. I get a real unclear answer from the lawyers, and can't find anything comprehensible on the internet.....

Jonathan Kales of Kales and Kales was my lawyer. Fortunately, I've only had one divorce so I don't have any other experiences to compare him to, but I was very impressed with his thoroughness and preparedness. And as lawyers go, he's not outrageously expensive.

The Women's Center in Vienna, VA is a great resource. see http://www.thewomenscenter.org/ I divorced a few years ago and found them very helpful. They gave me a list of several attorneys who I called for a brief phone interview, without charge. The attorneys also discounted their hourly rate for those who were referred by the Women's Center. Also take advantage of their frequent workshops on separation and divorce. Leslye Fenton does one of the sessions. She represented me very well in my divorce.

I need advice on a good lawyer in the Phoenix, Az area. If anyone can help?

Just because you have a lousy spouse doesn't mean you should settle on a lousy attorney. Check out Warren Shiell - Los Angeles Divorce and Family Law Attorney. Check his website http://www.la-familylaw.com and his clients testimonials at http://www.la-familylaw.com/testimonials.html
Can't recommend him highly enough!!! The best there is.

My attorney sold me out! We had agreed to terms of settlement, I thought, and on the court date, in front of the judge, my attorney left out some major points I thought we had agree on. When I asked him about them, he said we couldn't add those statements. I feel I have no recourse at this point but I will send a letter of complaint to him, the Court and the Bar Association, both local and state. I feel raped and betrayed by my attorney!! I trusted him, like I trusted my ex, and was again screwed over!! I feel I need to get over this and just move on in my life. I just don't know why I keep letting this happen to me. I felt intimidated and just couldn't stand up in court and tell the judge, "no, I don't agree to the terms stated!" I should have but I couldn't! I also was asked by the judge whether my attorney handled the case to my satisfaction, I really wanted to say no!! However, after hesitating for a bit, I said yes. This is something I have to address with my therapist. I'm always afraid that what I have to say isn't important enough to speak out about. I've been constantly shut down by my ex and my self-esteem has gone down with it!! I can't believe I let this happen to me again! I could cry! My advice to anyone who's going through this, to make sure in writing that EVERYTHING you want to include in the final settlement is complete BEFORE going to court. My attorney is a jerk!! I truly feel he "made a deal" with my ex's attorney and I don't like that at all. I wanted to change attorneys but by that time, it was too late since we had a trial date set since August. Wish I knew what, if anything, I can do to change the outcome.

You should have said something in court and you should not have stuck with that attorney who sold you out. You could have had the trial postponed and gone on a prior Friday motion day to get the attorney removed from representing you. At this point, you can try to file an amendment to the agreement and Final Decree. I hope you took notes or have some paper trail to show what was left out; that will be helpful.

I do have notes and tried to file a continuance but it was too late at that point. My ex's attorney wouldn't agree either. I am retaining a new attorney and will try to get this amended. Really bad situation though! The former attorney didn't put any assurances in the judgment to make sure I was protected and my lousy, lousy, lousy ex will not make it the least bit east for me. He's the worst excuse for a man I've ever known!! The attorney isn't much better - and this was my attorney!

My new attorney is absolutely wonderful!! The whole firm is just was I was needing throughout this whole ordeal. I can't believe I kept that other jerk and paid him too! If anyone needs an attorney in Maryland (she practices in Montgomery County but I know she goes to Frederick County also and perhaps other districts in Maryland, DC and VA), I would provide her name and law firm - if that's permissible in this forum. I tried to change to her before the hearing but it was too late by that time which was most unfortunate - heartbreaking actually! I knew at that time - 2-3 weeks before trial!

I keep reiterating over and over again how important a good lawyer is in a situation like this - a spouse who's a lousy, self-centered, lying like a rug to EVERYONE (under oath, to my son, to me, to his mother, to his friends whoever they are, narcissist, with an entitlement and no regard or respect for others. That's what I've been dealing with.

I was going to elaborate in another forum but since I'm going on about this, I would love to be involved in a group of people who have been through this kind of mess and who want to provide assistance and guidance based on what our experiences are or have been. Not everyone's situation is the same but the basic stages are the same and when you're just starting to deal with this, boy do you need someone to help guide you though what you want - and fine-tune that list. I guess a therapist is helpful in that but that's another long process when you need to get to some points immediately or at least a direction. I know I have learned many lessons through the three years I've been going through this and it would be so good for us all to be able to help others get through this regretting how they've gotten through it (of not gotten through it). It's so very hurtful, painful, crushing, confusing, humiliating, and ugly. The bad this is that you can so easily lose everything you've work for in your life together. Is there a business for this type of service? Perhaps a book to be written - perhaps a formal complain or class action suit............. must think on this one. Must be some way to capitalize on this tragedy!! I'll get back to you and see what may come up with regard to this - I would live to have everyone in on it. We all have something to add with our experiences! Not finished yet.................

Sorry about all the typos and running on above - it was 2 am and I guess I was rambling! I know this site is what has been needed and provides all the assistance and direction one must take from the beginning. Just wish I knew about it before starting my "journey!" Thank God you are here for us! Thank you!

I just moved and got my internet back up and running so I'm back...... Dear Jane and Ellen, Your setting up this site has certainly been sooooo helpful for all of us going through our situations with lousy spouses. I tell everyone about the site - in fact, I've told my therapist and my attorneys as well so they can pass it on to others.

I want to recommend my new attorneys because they have given me new hope, protection, respect and the advice I never got from my former attorney. Unfortunately, I didn't find them until too late in the process but I decided to change right after merit hearing because I was so upset with the results. Maybe I didn't benefit from their assistance before going through the divorce process but someone else will if they decide to use their services - I guarantee they will be represented properly. The firm is The McKeon Law Firm - Shelly McKeon and Pam Ahluwalia - Gaithersburg, MD - 301-417-9222. I sincerely hope this helps someone.

I absolutely hate my attorney! I don't know who is worst my soon to be ex or my attorney. He has sucked me dry and I don't even have complete interrogatories! I fired his A#%$ and am looking for another. I agree with most of your comments! Don't settle! Keep your head up!

I am very happy with Keira Schwartz of Schwartz and Splatt in Fairfax VA. She gave me very competent legal advice in our one and only meeting. She helped me with a strategy in dealing with my lousy spouse's legal council. Officially she is not representing me, but was willing to help in the future if things get complicated.

The first property settlement from my wife's attorney was basically sell everything and split the proceeds. The only problem is our 4 kids are doing well in school and have lots of friends in the neighborhood, plus I telework from our home, so it would benefit only one person. A marked up copy of the proposed PSA was mailed back to Maddox & Maddox in Fairfax to Morgan A. Leyh Cox. Mrs. Cox sent a very unprofessional letter back to which a responded professionally reminding her of VA Code of Ethics and Professional Responsiblities for attorneys.

As an aside Keira and I were law school classmates graduating about 15 years ago and Mrs. Cox went to the same law school graduating about 7 years ago.

The best advice for seeing an attorney is to do lots of research. Treat it like buying a home, car, computer. Attorneys are people, there are some that click with your goals and make one feel comfortable by instilling trust and confidence and other make you want to run away. Visit or call a few and you'll know by your interaction if that person is right to represent you in a divorce. A nice suggestion is the one above to watch attorneys in court or negotiations.

In my case, it will probably go to trial because after 15 years of marriage working up to three jobs, paying down my wife's premarital debt and financing her master's degree along with her other 5 "careers," she doesn't get it. She needs to find a full time job to provide for herself and her children. I am always open to reconciliation, because my wife is just "tired of being married." She does very little with our child and is gone when they are home. (Sorry had to rant).

You know, when you're in a vulnerable state; i.e., in shock over lousy's indiscretions or sudden change, you're certainly not thinking clearly enough to make a decision about something as important as an attorney to represent your interests in this major decision. However, that's exactly when you have to think logically and rationally because that decision can make or break you and your future. I keep thinking about how stupid I was in this process because of the devastation of discovering a love letter to my husband from his mistress. That was over two years ago and I've learned much, the hard way, from the experience. I can only move forward now and try to help anyone in need of advice on how to proceed but as I speak with people who are where I was two years ago, they're not thinking rationally either - it takes much relentless convincing to get past the emotions. It seems so simple to "do research" and interview 3, 4 or 5 attorneys and see them in action in court, etc. but it's NOT that simple when you're emotionally distraught - everything takes so much effort, yet it's entirely up to you to lead and take it to the next level. That's where a good attorney can provide so much assurance and suggestions and clarification - ultimately confidence to move in the direction you feel you need to go with your best interest foremost in your mind.

I'm listening to Pandora.com - comforting music as I write - James Taylor, Jimmy Buffet and others with their love songs/stories and they make me happy and sad at the same time because of the history, because of the words and because I shared those songs with the man I thought I loved for many years. It's a hard process folks - no easy way out as tears fall from my eyes. I guess I got off subject a bit - sorry! The process.........keeps going. Will it ever end?

I went through 3 attorneys through my lengthy separation/divorce. I've had attorneys that I suspected of billing me if they had a dream about my case.

If you have a case in Baltimore County MD, the attorney you want is Gerald W Soukup. HANDS DOWN.. He is the the fairest, smartest attorney in the world.

I consider him a friend now even though I had never met him before our first consultation.

@ SingleDad - I feel for you b/c your wife is my husband (except for my husband worked hard at the same job - so hard that he's never been around except for, literally, 30 waking minutes a week most times.

And, after 15 years, he's decided he doesn't like me/never has, so I'm sitting here wondering how I'll make it with my two kids (since I "deserve nothing.").

Good luck to you and your child(ren).

Need a good attorney in Boston. This site is great.

Dear Libby,

Try Gina M.Ghioldi, ghioldilaw.com. I did a Boston radio interview with her a few months ago. Her number is: (781) 674-2161.

Good luck,

Ellen

I have a great lawyer that I worked with in the Atlanta area... and he's a lousyspouse.com fan! (that means he has a sense of humor)
Contact me for info: janefieldsonline@gmail.com