I've been really distracted. I haven't made a meaningful entry here in ages. I think I've finally found a purpose... for LousySpouse.com, that is.
For a long time this was a place for me to vent my anger about my Lousy ex, and to hopefully help others with advice and cautionary tales. Now that my divorce is more than two years behind me, and Lousy ex has been married and divorced again, (teehee), I was lacking focus. Where did LousySpouse.com belong? Was there a purpose at all?
Recently I had a revelation. A sad, infuriating, nauseating reality has come to my attention. So stay with me here... I don't make my points quickly.
We are now in the age of the anti-bully. What was a tradition of middle school and playgrounds everywhere had somehow spiralled out of control largely due to our technological advances. We all do it, whether we realize it or not. I for one was relentless about making fun of the unknown girlfriend of my ex, until I was later legally bound to not say or write anything about her. hmmmph. Bullying is a soft word for physical and emotional torture. The strong overpowering the weak to get what they want, and to make themselves feel important.
Society has deemed this unacceptable and there are movements to teach our children that it is wrong to bully. We are also teaching them to stand up to the bully, to call them out, to not allow those that are bigger and stronger to take advantage of them. There's a government website!!
So what's eating at me is that the bullies grow up and continue bad behavior. After too many years of telling children that they should have everything they want, that they should do whatever it takes to find their bliss, we have a society of spoiled, entitled bullies. I've said the same thing about lousys and here's where it applies: The Lousy that controld the money controls EVERYTHING.
We have a legal system that rewards those with the money, and only them. I heard a story not too long ago about a lawyer who took his family on vacation. He was a Lousy, because while his spouse slept, he gathered up the children and their belongings and left. The spouse returned home to find she was locked out and all of her belongings in boxes in the garage. Because he had control of the money he bullied her into signing away her parental rights because she could not afford a lawyer. That's the part that sickens me... he took away her children. The law did nothing to protect her. She had nowhere to turn, or she didn't find her way, and he took advantage of the situation. He has partners and staff who know what he did - they helped him!! His children resent him and will always know what he did... and now he's shopping for a new wife so he won't have to bother with the responsibilities of parenthood. (BTW, asshole, their mother would be happy to help raising them.) Really!
If there are laws to protect people from bullies, to stop cyberbullies from making fun of people, why are there no laws to protect spouses from their lousy spouses? Especially lousy lawyers?! Why do lawyers represent people who want to tear their children from the other parent just so they don't have to deal with them anymore? Is there no ethical training in law school? It seems that the only motivation a lawyer EVER has is to win for a client that will pay - no matter what.
It happens all the time, and I've heard it so many times. It happens to men and women. They lose a spouse because the spouse has decided that they aren't "fulfilled", yet ironically, usually full of shit. Then the one with the money decides they don't want to support the spouse anymore, and then squash them with the law and the children are used as pawns. "Don't ask me for support, and I'll let you see the kids twice a month for an afternoon." Just plain evil.
I don't hate lawyers. I hate bullies. I think it's time that there is something legislated to protect parents from being bankrupted by the desire to remain an involved parent. Does anyone out there agree? Who's with me?