Since I wrote here last - a year ago?!!! So much has changed. I'm not talking about this website, but the bigger picture. My big picture is better, but that's not why I'm writing. Lousy-ness seems to be everywhere you turn. You can't avoid it unless you live a very, very sheltered life. Even the new OWN network has started a series called Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal. Unbelievable.
While Oprah has been a touchstone for millions of people, this is what her network is broadcasting? While they don't pass judgment, it reads to me as a pathetic opportunity for the common folk to "get on the TV". Yuck.
Okay, maybe I haven't put enough time in to appreciate their... what? message? It's worse than reality TV because they actually employ actors to recount the stories. WHAT?! I don't get the point of it.
Yeah, you screw around and people get hurt. How many different ways does that story need to be told? I think that this show is the first time that I've felt disappointed in Oprah. Maybe it wasn't her idea, but it's on her network, so I hold her responsible. I have some other Oprah stories, but I'll save them for now.
So, back to the parade... what's bugging me is lousy-ness that surrounds me: Friend 1 - she's known for a long time that her Lousy was having an affair. He stopped covering his tracks which encouraged her to detective, just a little, and bust him. She didn't bother until he stopped hiding it, which became an insult to her. Once confronted, he admitted everything and they came to an agreement that a divorce was the course they wanted to pursue. No problem, move on. Well.... that never really works, does it? She was so sure that he would be fair and reasonable in financial supprt, but... Just like the rest of us, she expected the best from him, but he'd already stepped over the line to the dark side, and is now fighting to not pay anything and just keep their child himself. I had tried to warn her - cut the chord NOW, do it quickly. Once that genie is out of the bottle, he's not going back. She was so sure that he would not want to sully his reputation, but she's thinking like a woman. He's got everything he wants - his freedom, the other woman, and he wants to keep all his money. That's just the way it is. As I sat on the sidelines I nearly chewed my tongue off keeping the "I told you so's" to myself. I won't go into the money that's been wasted on private detectives, and wasted legal fees...
Friend 2 - After learning that her husband had slept through his old office, her family's move three states away made sense. He not only had a great career opportunity here in Atlanta, but he was diving into a pool of fresh meat. Yuck. So, back to the discovery - her instinct was to pack up their beautiful kids and move back home where she had family, and friends, and had left her career to support him. Well, he put an end to that idea in a hurry. It is his right as the father to block her from taking the kids out of state, as a matter of fact, she couldn't even drive them home to visit her family without his consent. The disgusting part is that Lousy never pays attention to the kids regardless of where they are. When Lousy takes them for visitation it's a big burden, or a big favor to the mother. ?? Why keep them around? So that you can ignore them more effectively? Way to go, Lousy!
It happens over, and over, and over. The parade of Lousys will never end. We started this website, what? three years ago? so that we could teach spouses about lousy behavior and how to survive. Just as driver's ed should be mandatory, so should marriage ed. It's too often taken on lightly, and it is a contract which is not always understood or respected. How do we get our message into the curriculum?